CONQUERING THE MOST INVINCIBLE PAIN WITH INNER POWER
INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO MEASAURE PAIN, LOSS
Pain and suffering are two daemons we all have encountered at some point of time. But it is incomprehensible to measure pain or how much one has suffered consequently. Very often we are heard using the most hackneyed line to our friends while consoling them “I do understand and empathise with your loss ” Alas ! But that is not the case. Nobody can actually get in somebody’s shoes to experience how much the shoe pinches. Our holy books also clearly state that ‘jis tan lage so tan jane, koi naa samjhe peer parai ‘
Recently when a close friend of mine suddenly lost her young husband all of fifty years to last stage cancer, I was at loss of words and just didn’t know how to console her. Nothing seemed to comfort her definitely not words of condolences. While all others were fighting the fear of corona she was battling her husband‘s gravest illness which unfortunately detected just a month ago and had spread exponentially in a few days. How do you let someone so dear, go so soon without any indication? How can someone be prepared for something so grave? Although we all know that death is inevitable but we had been secretly praying to God to buy some him some time just a couple of years or maybe months. But God, the master planner has his own ways and we lost our dear friend to destiny.
While attending his cremation it was a heart- wrenching scene to see his wife wail inconsolably while his mother stood at the entrance gate of the crematorium/cremation ground and performed ‘Ardaas’ as she didn’t have the heart to see her son being burnt to ashes. I stood there besides her as she was alone and recalled that a friend from U.S. who is a Psychiatrist once told me that a death of a child is ranked highest in the hierarchy of pain.
In the meantime, his sister came walking towards us and leant down to her mother’s feet making her sit on a chair. She held her mother around her shoulders, looked her in her eyes boldly and told her “Mom, such a pious man was born out of your womb, he chose you as his mother, you should not cry and indeed be proud !” The mother nodded and said “Yes! I am proud of his journey and the man my son was!” These lines of resilience still give me goose bumps and I realised when God gives us unbearable pain he also gives us substantial strength to help us conquer it.
We all will remember him as a thorough gentleman who would have never even thought evil about someone leave apart hurting anybody. I recall and picture him as a handsome and Humble Sardarji standing with his hands folded and welcoming us to his house on his kids’ birthday parties. He played his roles very well and responsibly as a son, husband, father and a friend. Hence, I am forced to question God “Why do people who are the nicest have to suffer the most?” and God without wasting a minute answers “Hey Girl !
Haven’t you heard – whom the God loves die young”.